Tuesday, 26 January 2010 12:37

TOO MUCH MEMORY by Keith Reddin and Meg Gibson, third week of rehearsals by Nicki Nixon, who is playing Antigone

To quote Creon from TOO MUCH MEMORY: “A man who has never lost himself in a cause greater than himself has missed one of life’s mountain top experiences.” Despite the fact that Creon is one of my arch-nemeses (I jest), I couldn’t agree more.

So the Prop 8 trial continues in San Francisco, and the stakes are a bit higher this time as it could lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage in all 50 states if it heads to the U.S. Supreme Court (as it likely will).  Wouldn’t that be fantastic? And just way too easy? Lately I’ve been amazed with the realization of how much money is being poured into this issue - precious dollars that could be sent to Haiti instead, just so one group of people can have their Constitutional rights and another group of people can say “marriage is only ‘right’ if it results in offspring.” Of course, forget about the fact that some people can’t or choose not to have children and that half of heterosexual marriages end in divorce. Family as we know it is being (somehow) threatened here. Meanwhile the people in Haiti are having surgeries done in the streets without any type of anesthetic.

Whew, that felt good. My heart is kind of beating faster. Which makes my eyes feel wider and ready to receive more.

Hey, speaking of how much Americans care so much about family that we’re willing to keep people who love each other from coming together – did you know that businesses (that will remained unnamed) drive vans over the border to pick men up from Mexico and take them to their factories for illegally cheap labor? Tearing families apart, really. Sounds like a conspiracy theory, right? Well, maybe it is. I saw it in a documentary and who’s to say what’s true and what’s not anymore, in this age of instant information and Photoshop (can I say Photoshop? Is that copyright infringement?). But I figure if I can watch Fox News (can I only cite them if I’m saying something good?) and feel like it’s all true, then I can surely believe that businesses will do anything to save a dollar.

WOO! That felt good too! I feel alive; I feel open and ready to receive; I feel like my skin is buzzing!

HEY! Speaking of what I can and can’t say in a blog, how about that First Amendment! Trickiest amendment in the world and yet it was the first one made.  Coincidence? Maybe. Free speech. You know, while we’re trying to define what “marriage” is maybe we should define what “free speech” is, too. It just means you don’t have to pay for what you say, right? Unless of course you say something that could affect anyone, especially businesses or politicians or any group that has enough money to sue your ass, then you’ll pay out your ears. But don’t worry, it’s only CASH. You still have the freedom to verbally say it. They won’t cut your tongue out...

My muscles are tensing; I almost feel angry. I feel almost dangerous. I feel like my abdomen is twitching. Like my own bowels have something to say...

... I hate that we can shove living creatures into pitch black pens where they’re on top of one another and can’t move and break their own bones trying to stand up and that we call it “ethical treatment for animals.” And yet people roll their eyes when I say I’m vegetarian. I hate that vegans roll their eyes when I say that too. I still think there is a lot of sexism in the work place (and life in general) that people refuse to see but that affects young men and women everywhere. I think that television and Wii’s and magazines are going to really hurt our up-and-coming generations. It makes me so sad that you get put in a pen when you want to tell the world that creating another war is wrong. It makes me feel so awful that Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan never stood a chance against the pressure that was put on them to be perfect and skinny and likeable at any cost - and that that pressure is trickling down to our sons and daughters. It makes me wonder what the hell is going on when so many teens can’t find a reason to live and end their lives at 16, 10 years after becoming self-aware. It makes my head spin that when you try to talk about something you care about, you’re suddenly not cool anymore. You’re just a politically correct (when did this become negative?), uptight bitch and you need to get over it.

And above all, I am wrought with confusion when people ask what I do and I say “theatre” and they smile and say “How fun! I love plays!” because everything I just wrote IS THEATRE. It is my soul and my opinion and my courage and the fire inside me that HAS TO COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING. It’s political, it’s personal, it’s important, it’s hypothetical and literal. It’s superlative. It’s life, physical and spiritual. My heart is racing, my mind is active, my heart is open. And it’s all just one person in this world of 6 billion. One, tiny Antigone.

Signing off.

Last modified on Tuesday, 26 January 2010 12:43

6 comments

  • Comment Link Gwen Sunday, 31 January 2010 16:46 posted by Gwen

    I think it's awesome that there are young professional artists with more to say than can be summed up in a product endorsement or guest spot on Entourage. keep fighting the good fight Nicki. You do beautiful work.

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  • Comment Link Mark Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:15 posted by Mark

    How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body? ~Laurel Hoodwrit Nicki... You have a gift. A gift that can touch people in places they have never been touched before. A gift that can let people see that to which they have been blinded. A gift that can bring voices of reason to silenced minds. A gift that can let people again hear that which they long ago shut out. Never let the gift go ungiven. I love you, all that you are, and all that you will be. Your Dad

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  • Comment Link Trina Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:46 posted by Trina

    And this is why I consider myself to be one of the luckiest beings in this UNIVERSE...27 years of Nicki Nixon as my sister, and best friend. WOOOO. This blog makes MY heart race, and my mind active. My heart is open and ready to see "Too Much Memory!" I can't wait!

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  • Comment Link Shannon Wednesday, 27 January 2010 17:38 posted by Shannon

    Nicki, the fact that this is so well written is second only to the importance of every topic you bring up. I hope everyone who has ever called theatre "cute" reads this blog. Your passion, fire and intelligence make you the perfect Antigone, both on SLAC's stage and in "real life." I can't wait for people to see TOO MUCH MEMORY.

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  • Comment Link W Wednesday, 27 January 2010 02:00 posted by W

    Nicki-YES. How come we're 'crazy' if we talk about something that matters to us? I think that the mass media, all these magazines and Wiis and such, have already had a hugely soporific effect on a too-trusting, unsuspecting public. Why aren't we teaching kids to read philosophers like Thomas Paine, one of our lauded Founding Fathers? As Regina Spektor put in in her song, "you're using your headphones to drown out your mind." And as Mr. Paine so eloquently put it, "When men yield up the privilege of thinking, the last shadow of liberty quits the horizon." What good is our freedom if, within it, we're complacently enforcing the status quo? Great blog! We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace. - William E. Gladstone

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  • Comment Link Eric Smith Wednesday, 27 January 2010 00:11 posted by Eric Smith

    Great entry, Nicki. I still think it's cool to be politically correct. Your view of theatre is really inspiring. I love how you take your craft so seriously; it seems like that's a fantastic way to be an actor. It makes such a difference for me as a viewer knowing that the people on the stage are doing so much more than just entertaining me in exchange for money. I can't wait to see you put this all in action in the play.

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